Say Yes! to Self Awareness Say No! to Fantasy Awareness – Transcript

Say yes, to self-awareness. Say no, to fantasy-awareness.  Say yes, to self-awareness. Say no, to fantasy-awareness.

When is it not in your best interest to be aware of yourself, of what yourself is doing, what yourself is feeling, what yourself is thinking, what yourself is wanting, what yourself is being? It’s always in your best interest to be aware of yourself. Yes! Yes! To be aware, to be conscious of who you are, and who you are is different every moment in every situation. Who you are is really important information for making decisions about your life, about taking care of your life, about enriching your life, about growing your life.

Say no, to fantasy-awareness. Fantasy-awareness is being all in your head and thinking about the future or thinking about the past and not being aware of the reality of your body, the reality of yourself in the moment. Your self-awareness is something that happens in a moment, a present moment. It’s not something you can take a photograph of. It’s not something static, self-awareness is not static. Self-awareness is moving, moving, moving! Who you are is moving, moving, moving! Yes, feel the deliciousness of that. You could get that and start really living from that reality that yourself is this moving, that you’re alive! That’s all it means. I mean, it may sound “woo-woo”, but it isn’t! It’s like you’re alive!  You’re alive! Who you are is changing every moment, your life. Your aliveness is changing every moment. So yes, to self-awareness, say no to fantasy-awareness.

Fantasy-awareness is any awareness of yourself that’s an idea, that’s not this moving alive energy in you. Anything other than that is fantasy-awareness. Say no, to fantasy-awareness. Say no, to fantasy-awareness. To the degree that you make your choices based on fantasy-awareness, you’re leading yourself astray. Just for example, one very, very, very, very, very all too common fantasy-awareness, for a lot of us human beings is fantasy fear. Fear is functional when there’s danger, when there’s clear and present danger to your aliveness or to the aliveness of your loved ones or your teammates or close at hand people. Fear is optimally functional in that situation. In any other moment it is not a functional response to reality. Your emotions are for… How you respond to reality and being afraid of somebody not liking you, being afraid of getting a poor grade in your class, being afraid of making a mistake on a work project, being afraid of someone criticizing you — I think I already said that, but you get the point — those are not… That’s fantasy fear. That’s fantasy fear. Wanting to do a good job on the project and being present with yourself and owning that you want to do a good job on this project, and owning what’s going on with you as you’re working on the project; that’s self-awareness. And noticing, if you start to get, “Ohh… ” fantasy fear, that’s a self-awareness skill.

And our culture has normalized fantasy fear so much. But, I am saying, “Say no! Say no, say no, to fantasy-awareness.” Fantasy fear is one of the examples of… Yeah.

Say yes, to self-awareness. Say no, to fantasy-awareness. It is optimally functional for you to be aware of yourself in the present moment, every present moment. Okay, you get the concept and if you don’t get the concept, let me know. So, the purpose of this class and all the classes at Tom’s University are for coaching yourself, to build your consciousness skills, your attentional skills, your life skills, your happiness skills, your functionality skill. You’re the only one who can do it, for one thing. You’re the only one who cannot do it. You’re the only one who can distract you from yourself. It happens in your consciousness. It happens in your consciousness. You know… What… Why is…

I know I say this often and I’m going to say it again, every moment, every moment you’re alive you’re making choices. Every moment. Every moment you’re alive you’re making choices. Every moment you’re alive you’re making choices, okay? Right. You get that, right? Every moment you’re alive, at least when you’re awake, you’re doing stuff. Well, that’s when I… You’re doing stuff. Now you may be doing stuff on automatic patterns and probably you are doing in a whole lot of stuff without consciously choosing, without saying, “I want to do this move now. I want to do this action now.” Okay? And yet you still are doing the action, the task; taking the kids to school, cleaning up the kitchen, washing the car, balancing your checkbook, paying your bills, go to your work. You may be doing all of these things on automatic and not consciously feeling like you’re choosing but you are choosing, okay? So you are choosing, when you’re alert, you’re choosing. Do I do this task now? Do I be nice to this customer now? Or do I ignore them and whatever, whatever. You’re making choices, okay? Well, say yes to self-awareness. Say yes to self-awareness. Say no to fantasy-awareness, okay? It’s simple. The more you’re skilled at staying in your self-awareness, awareness of yourself, the better you’re going to be at making conscious choices that are the best choice for that moment. Yeah, you’re only making choices for that moment. Most of the choice talk in our culture is about to “being” choices. Are you going to this school or that school? Are you going to stay married or not stay married? Are you going to blah-blah-blah? No. Yeah, yeah.

If you, if you just focus your choice, choosing skills on the big ones, you’re not going to be real good at choosing. Because you are more likely than not going to be making your choices from fantasy-awareness. Yeah, I am. I’m working out right now as I’m doing this class so that’s what the breathing that you’re hearing so… Yeah, I’m choosing to do my exercise because I’ve got a meeting and I won’t be able to do an all-day meeting and I won’t be able to do my exercise. If I don’t do it now and I wouldn’t be able to do this class if I didn’t do that, do them together. So I’m choosing to do this. It’s not my preference to do a class while I’m also exercising. That’s what I’m choosing to do now. And I’m choosing to share that with you. Self aware and I’m doing it from a very, you know I’m a little… My awareness is on the, “Oh, I’m not going to get ready for my meeting.” And you know is this, how will this class work? So there’s a little bit of fantasy-awareness going on but I’m more on the side of self-awareness. I’m choosing this. I don’t have to do this class even.

Yeah, anyway, that’s about me. This class is about you coaching yourself to build the skill of self-awareness in everything you do. While you’re working out is a great place to practice, building your skill at being aware of your chest, being aware of your body, being aware of your choices, being aware of what you’re doing, being aware of the purpose of what you’re doing. You’re going to make way better choices if you’re aware of the purpose of what you’re doing and aware of yourself. You’re not going to make good choices if you’re just aware of the purpose of what you’re doing and not also aware of yourself. How aligned are you in the moment with the purpose of what you’re doing? Do you really want to be doing what you’re doing?

Okay, that’s what this class is about. Say yes, say yes to self-awareness. Say no to fantasy-awareness.